Oh Sexy Girlfriend
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
This was your life
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Broadcasting pioneer Ralph Edwards, who spotlighted stars and ordinary people as host of the popular 1950s show "This Is Your Life," died Wednesday of heart failure. He was 92.
The show that launched a thousand sitcom plots. ¶ 12:10 PM 0 comments
The show that launched a thousand sitcom plots. ¶ 12:10 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Predicting product placements
In the future, the best television programs will be the ones with the most seamless product placements.
Last night on Medium, Allison and her super-hunky husband Joe are discussing the coming evening's married-couple kid-free "date." Joe holds up a full-page newspaper ad for "Memoirs of a Geisha," that announces a sneak preview of the film that evening. "You liked the book honey," he says, or something like that, and the two agree they should go.
"What's a geisha?" asks middle daughter that I really like because she's weird and her hair is always in big knots like mine was when I was around that age.
"Ask your mother," replies super-hunky Joe.
So, here I am thinking, wow, that's topical, I guess. What up with that? Sure enough, right at the break, a sneak preview and a commercial advertising free passes to see "Memoirs of a Geisha."
At least I don't have to deal with this crap on Lost.
Kate: Wow, I hope we get rescued soon. I really wanted to see the movie-version of "Memoirs of a Geisha" in theaters December 9th!
Sayid: I know, right?! ¶ 12:52 PM 0 comments
Last night on Medium, Allison and her super-hunky husband Joe are discussing the coming evening's married-couple kid-free "date." Joe holds up a full-page newspaper ad for "Memoirs of a Geisha," that announces a sneak preview of the film that evening. "You liked the book honey," he says, or something like that, and the two agree they should go.
"What's a geisha?" asks middle daughter that I really like because she's weird and her hair is always in big knots like mine was when I was around that age.
"Ask your mother," replies super-hunky Joe.
So, here I am thinking, wow, that's topical, I guess. What up with that? Sure enough, right at the break, a sneak preview and a commercial advertising free passes to see "Memoirs of a Geisha."
At least I don't have to deal with this crap on Lost.
Kate: Wow, I hope we get rescued soon. I really wanted to see the movie-version of "Memoirs of a Geisha" in theaters December 9th!
Sayid: I know, right?! ¶ 12:52 PM 0 comments
She shoulda stuck with Kool-Aid®
'Cool mom' sentenced
GOLDEN, Colo. (AP) — A woman who authorities said had sex with high school boys during alcohol-and drug-fueled parties has been sentenced to 30 years in prison, officials said.
Silvia Johnson, 41, of Arvada, described herself to investigators as a "cool mom" who "was never popular with classmates in high school" and who was beginning to feel like one of the group. ¶ 11:55 AM 0 comments
GOLDEN, Colo. (AP) — A woman who authorities said had sex with high school boys during alcohol-and drug-fueled parties has been sentenced to 30 years in prison, officials said.
Silvia Johnson, 41, of Arvada, described herself to investigators as a "cool mom" who "was never popular with classmates in high school" and who was beginning to feel like one of the group. ¶ 11:55 AM 0 comments
Monday, November 14, 2005
Bitch
So I've been feeding my 15-year-old arthritic one-eyed rescue pug, Biko with a spoon for about a year now...pretty much since around the time she had a gallbladder infection and her husband, Brando passed away.
She just got really picky about eating, and at her age, it's not like you can just say, screw you dog, you'll eat when you're hungry. You know, dogs that age will just get less hungry and stop eating altogether. Plus, she has to eat regularly to keep her gallbladder working and stuff. And at the time, the vet said, do what you gotta do.
Anyway, I've kept feeding her with a spoon 'cause I figured, hey, I spoiled her when I started feeding her when she was sick and grieving and now she expects it and she hardly has any teeth and her neck is creaky and she's kind of nuts, and how much longer has she got anyway, blah blah blah...it's a pain sometimes, especially in the morning when I've already slept too late...but you know, you do what you gotta do.
Well, turns out it's not that she's sad or crazy or enjoyed being fed like a baby...SHE JUST DIDN'T LIKE WHAT WE WERE SERVING!
How do I know this? Especially since I've been making her dang dog food from organic scratch since the day I got her seven years ago as recommended by Dr. Martin Goldstein, author of the Nature of Animal Healing as well as that Dr. Pitcarn dude??!?
This weekend I ran out of the organic frickin' kibble I usually mix with her homemade chicken & rice & vegetables so I decided to try Innova, this dog food Dr. Goldstein says is okay, and just to shake things up I got some of the canned food too. She couldn't eat it fast enough, the finicky little pig! She prefers canned DOG FOOD to my "Puggie Casserole." I don't even cook for myself, but I cook for her, and this is what I get!
Bitch. ¶ 1:13 PM 0 comments
So I've been feeding my 15-year-old arthritic one-eyed rescue pug, Biko with a spoon for about a year now...pretty much since around the time she had a gallbladder infection and her husband, Brando passed away. She just got really picky about eating, and at her age, it's not like you can just say, screw you dog, you'll eat when you're hungry. You know, dogs that age will just get less hungry and stop eating altogether. Plus, she has to eat regularly to keep her gallbladder working and stuff. And at the time, the vet said, do what you gotta do.
Anyway, I've kept feeding her with a spoon 'cause I figured, hey, I spoiled her when I started feeding her when she was sick and grieving and now she expects it and she hardly has any teeth and her neck is creaky and she's kind of nuts, and how much longer has she got anyway, blah blah blah...it's a pain sometimes, especially in the morning when I've already slept too late...but you know, you do what you gotta do.
Well, turns out it's not that she's sad or crazy or enjoyed being fed like a baby...SHE JUST DIDN'T LIKE WHAT WE WERE SERVING!
How do I know this? Especially since I've been making her dang dog food from organic scratch since the day I got her seven years ago as recommended by Dr. Martin Goldstein, author of the Nature of Animal Healing as well as that Dr. Pitcarn dude??!?
This weekend I ran out of the organic frickin' kibble I usually mix with her homemade chicken & rice & vegetables so I decided to try Innova, this dog food Dr. Goldstein says is okay, and just to shake things up I got some of the canned food too. She couldn't eat it fast enough, the finicky little pig! She prefers canned DOG FOOD to my "Puggie Casserole." I don't even cook for myself, but I cook for her, and this is what I get!
Bitch. ¶ 1:13 PM 0 comments
I didn't ask to be born
"A blind and deaf Australian woman who claims she never should have been born is suing a doctor for a lifetime of suffering in the country's first "wrongful life" suit."
¶ 8:05 AM 0 comments
Saturday, November 12, 2005
I had that dream again last night...
...the one where I'm back in high school except I'm the age that I am now. I'm back because it turns out I never really graduated. Sometimes in the dream I'm back in college. Mostly though, it's like last night, when I'm back in high school.
None of the kids can tell I'm all old and stuff. But I know how old I am in these dreams and I'm always sick-to-my stomach, prayin' to Baby Jebus none of the "other" kids figure it out. Thing is, these kids are idiots, you know, like kids in high school are, but I have to pretend they're not idiots, while pretending to be an idiot myself...to fit in and shit.
When I'm in the dream, it's understood that I absolutely must repeat this chapter of my stupid life and fix my fuck ups before I can go on with the rest of my life. Almost always in the dream I'm sick and nervous, and it often turns out I've missed some test, or forgot to go to math class for the entire semester. So, you know, I'm back but I'm still fucking it up.
I've had this genre of dream so many times that I've developed the ability to tell myself, in the dream, that this is only a dream, to not feel nervous, because eventually I'm going to wake up and I won't have actually had to go back to high school or college.
No need to page Dr. Freud. But it does kinda rule out Grad School. ¶ 11:29 PM 1 comments
...the one where I'm back in high school except I'm the age that I am now. I'm back because it turns out I never really graduated. Sometimes in the dream I'm back in college. Mostly though, it's like last night, when I'm back in high school.
None of the kids can tell I'm all old and stuff. But I know how old I am in these dreams and I'm always sick-to-my stomach, prayin' to Baby Jebus none of the "other" kids figure it out. Thing is, these kids are idiots, you know, like kids in high school are, but I have to pretend they're not idiots, while pretending to be an idiot myself...to fit in and shit.
When I'm in the dream, it's understood that I absolutely must repeat this chapter of my stupid life and fix my fuck ups before I can go on with the rest of my life. Almost always in the dream I'm sick and nervous, and it often turns out I've missed some test, or forgot to go to math class for the entire semester. So, you know, I'm back but I'm still fucking it up.
I've had this genre of dream so many times that I've developed the ability to tell myself, in the dream, that this is only a dream, to not feel nervous, because eventually I'm going to wake up and I won't have actually had to go back to high school or college.
No need to page Dr. Freud. But it does kinda rule out Grad School. ¶ 11:29 PM 1 comments
