Saturday, November 12, 2005
I had that dream again last night...
...the one where I'm back in high school except I'm the age that I am now. I'm back because it turns out I never really graduated. Sometimes in the dream I'm back in college. Mostly though, it's like last night, when I'm back in high school.
None of the kids can tell I'm all old and stuff. But I know how old I am in these dreams and I'm always sick-to-my stomach, prayin' to Baby Jebus none of the "other" kids figure it out. Thing is, these kids are idiots, you know, like kids in high school are, but I have to pretend they're not idiots, while pretending to be an idiot myself...to fit in and shit.
When I'm in the dream, it's understood that I absolutely must repeat this chapter of my stupid life and fix my fuck ups before I can go on with the rest of my life. Almost always in the dream I'm sick and nervous, and it often turns out I've missed some test, or forgot to go to math class for the entire semester. So, you know, I'm back but I'm still fucking it up.
I've had this genre of dream so many times that I've developed the ability to tell myself, in the dream, that this is only a dream, to not feel nervous, because eventually I'm going to wake up and I won't have actually had to go back to high school or college.
No need to page Dr. Freud. But it does kinda rule out Grad School. ¶ 11:29 PM
...the one where I'm back in high school except I'm the age that I am now. I'm back because it turns out I never really graduated. Sometimes in the dream I'm back in college. Mostly though, it's like last night, when I'm back in high school.
None of the kids can tell I'm all old and stuff. But I know how old I am in these dreams and I'm always sick-to-my stomach, prayin' to Baby Jebus none of the "other" kids figure it out. Thing is, these kids are idiots, you know, like kids in high school are, but I have to pretend they're not idiots, while pretending to be an idiot myself...to fit in and shit.
When I'm in the dream, it's understood that I absolutely must repeat this chapter of my stupid life and fix my fuck ups before I can go on with the rest of my life. Almost always in the dream I'm sick and nervous, and it often turns out I've missed some test, or forgot to go to math class for the entire semester. So, you know, I'm back but I'm still fucking it up.
I've had this genre of dream so many times that I've developed the ability to tell myself, in the dream, that this is only a dream, to not feel nervous, because eventually I'm going to wake up and I won't have actually had to go back to high school or college.
No need to page Dr. Freud. But it does kinda rule out Grad School. ¶ 11:29 PM
